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  • Notes: 7

Anonymous asked: Do either of you have issues/urges of "I fits, I sits"?

UGH. WHAT KIND OF CUTESY PANDERING BULLSHIT IS THIS? DO YOU REALLY SEE EITHER OF US FILTH ENCRUSTED LARVAL SACS AS ANYTHING BUT THE GODDAMN ANTITHESIS OF ENDEARING? 

I MEAN WHEN I GET THE SO-CALLED *URGE* TO SQUEEZE MYSELF UP NEXT TO ERIDAN LIKE THE INNARDS OF GRUB SAUSAGE INTO ITS LUSUS BLADDER CASING, I GUESS MAYBE I’M THINKING SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF “IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO MOVE YOUR FINNY ASS I’M GOING TO FIT MYSELF HERE ANYWAY”. BUT THERE’S NO WAY I WOULD ASSOCIATE THAT WITH PURBEASTS IN BOXES FIVE TIMES TOO SMALL. 

AND MAYBE HE’LL SCRUNCH HIS ELONGATED HIPSTER FORM UP ON TOP OF ME WHEN HE’S BEING FUCKING RIDICULOUS, BUT HE’LL ALWAYS ACCOMPANY THE ACTION BY WHINGING ABOUT MY INFERIOR SIZE OR SOMETHING EQUALLY DISPARAGING, AND THAT IS BY NO MEANS  ENDEARING EITHER.

SO NO. NONE OF THAT COUNTS.

fortheloveofotps:

ricepattiesfromabove:

Sand when it’s struck by lightning

NO ITS FUCKING NOT HOW MNYFUCKING TIMES DO I HAVETO FUCKING SAY THIS GODDAM RANT THAT IS A FUCKING STICK STUCK IN THE GODDAM SAND WITH A MOTHER FUCKING DRIP AND CASTLE MADE OVER IT HOLY TITS YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN LIGHING HITS SAND
GLASS.
MOTHERFUCKING GLASS HAPPENSA ND ITS GRETA BUT THIS SHIT IS AN INSULT TO THE LIGHTNING YOU THINK IT MAKES THIS SCULTURE SHIT? NO TS HOT WHITE FURY MELTS THE GODDAM SAND TOGETHERTO MAKE SGLASS
HOLY TITS

ok cool someone already debunked this shit
but im gonna add to it anywway cause it still aint as accurate or at least as precise as it ought to be an also no sources HOLY FUCK WWHY IS THERE NEVVER SOURCES ON THIS SHIT
alright so yeah this thing up there is definitely NOT a lightnin formation it is in fact exactly wwhat the person wwhat debunked this said it is a drip sand sculpture built on a stick doin its stick thing stickin in the sand
hey i evven got a source for you its called red beach 2 by sandcastlematt and the rest a his gallery is here
http://www.everystockphoto.com/photographer.php?photographer_id=34455
alright so thats all legit noww lets look at the claim afterwwards sayin that wwhat happens wwhen lightnin hits sand is glass
wwell
that aint exactly accurate or at least it kinda implies that recognisable glass usually happens wwhen lightnin bitchslaps a beach
thats just blatantly and unequivvocally untrue most a the time wwhen lightnin meets sand absolutely fuck all happens it just gets grounded big fuckin wwhoop
BUT in really fuckin special circumstances like wwere talking an extraordinary set a preconditions then yeah lightnin can turn sand into a form a crude holloww glass tubin called fulgurite
these are the specific circumstances:
* sand has high concentration of quartz or silica
* temperature of strike reaches 1800c/3270f
* there is enough conductivve surface area for fulgurite to form wwithout energy bein otherwwise dispersed
heres the wwiki page for fulgurite
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulgurite
an heres another article talkin more about wwhy that pic could nevver havve been created by lightnin an howw fulgurite is actually formed
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/but-not-simpler/2013/07/02/what-really-happens-when-lightning-strikes-sand-the-science-behind-a-viral-photo/
an finally heres an article comparing wwhat most people probably fuckin THINK glass exploded into existence by thor looks like compared to howw it really looks
http://kathyh.hubpages.com/hub/When-Lightning-Strikes-Sand-Like-In-Sweet-Home-Alabama
its fuckin cool howw its made but its seriously ugly as fuck so you knoww if the debunker before me wwere tryin a make a case for real lightnin glass bein wway more awwesome than the pic abovve wwell its really not it looks like a petrified turd because basically thats wwhat it is
so noww youvve been properly scienced you god damn plebs my wwork here is done

fortheloveofotps:

ricepattiesfromabove:

Sand when it’s struck by lightning

NO ITS FUCKING NOT HOW MNYFUCKING TIMES DO I HAVETO FUCKING SAY THIS GODDAM RANT THAT IS A FUCKING STICK STUCK IN THE GODDAM SAND WITH A MOTHER FUCKING DRIP AND CASTLE MADE OVER IT HOLY TITS YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN LIGHING HITS SAND

GLASS.

MOTHERFUCKING GLASS HAPPENSA ND ITS GRETA BUT THIS SHIT IS AN INSULT TO THE LIGHTNING YOU THINK IT MAKES THIS SCULTURE SHIT? NO TS HOT WHITE FURY MELTS THE GODDAM SAND TOGETHERTO MAKE SGLASS

HOLY TITS

ok cool someone already debunked this shit

but im gonna add to it anywway cause it still aint as accurate or at least as precise as it ought to be an also no sources HOLY FUCK WWHY IS THERE NEVVER SOURCES ON THIS SHIT

alright so yeah this thing up there is definitely NOT a lightnin formation it is in fact exactly wwhat the person wwhat debunked this said it is a drip sand sculpture built on a stick doin its stick thing stickin in the sand

hey i evven got a source for you its called red beach 2 by sandcastlematt and the rest a his gallery is here

http://www.everystockphoto.com/photographer.php?photographer_id=34455

alright so thats all legit noww lets look at the claim afterwwards sayin that wwhat happens wwhen lightnin hits sand is glass

wwell

that aint exactly accurate or at least it kinda implies that recognisable glass usually happens wwhen lightnin bitchslaps a beach

thats just blatantly and unequivvocally untrue most a the time wwhen lightnin meets sand absolutely fuck all happens it just gets grounded big fuckin wwhoop

BUT in really fuckin special circumstances like wwere talking an extraordinary set a preconditions then yeah lightnin can turn sand into a form a crude holloww glass tubin called fulgurite

these are the specific circumstances:

* sand has high concentration of quartz or silica

* temperature of strike reaches 1800c/3270f

* there is enough conductivve surface area for fulgurite to form wwithout energy bein otherwwise dispersed

heres the wwiki page for fulgurite

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulgurite

an heres another article talkin more about wwhy that pic could nevver havve been created by lightnin an howw fulgurite is actually formed

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/but-not-simpler/2013/07/02/what-really-happens-when-lightning-strikes-sand-the-science-behind-a-viral-photo/

an finally heres an article comparing wwhat most people probably fuckin THINK glass exploded into existence by thor looks like compared to howw it really looks

http://kathyh.hubpages.com/hub/When-Lightning-Strikes-Sand-Like-In-Sweet-Home-Alabama

its fuckin cool howw its made but its seriously ugly as fuck so you knoww if the debunker before me wwere tryin a make a case for real lightnin glass bein wway more awwesome than the pic abovve wwell its really not it looks like a petrified turd because basically thats wwhat it is

so noww youvve been properly scienced you god damn plebs my wwork here is done

(Source: tall--and--awkward, via peppermintcookies)

SO WE’RE WATCHING DOCTOR WHO ON BBC AMERICA AND ERIDAN KEEPS FLIPPING A SHIT EVERY TIME THEY CUT TO A COMMERCIAL BECAUSE APPARENTLY IN ENGLAND EVERYTHING IS FUCKING FREE AND IT’S JUST BRINGING UP ALL KINDS OF LATENT BRITISH RAGE. AND THEN HE’S LIKE:

CA: i just cant believve they keep cuttin to ads kar it fuckin maddens me it MADDENS ME

CG: …

CG: MAN’S MEAT?

CA: wwhat

CA: i said maddens me

CG: OH.

CA: yeah MANS MEAT

CA: MANS MEAT KAR

CA: FUCKIN mans meat

CA:

CA: mans meat

deggity-do asked: Hehey firstly, you guys are super rad and I admire you both. Secondly, I recently did a stupidly courageous thing that I regretted immediately after and am now not so sure it was really all that courageous in the first place and was wondering if one or both of you had stumbled into a similar situation and had any advice or maybe an amusing anecdote to recall?

oh man wwhat did you do me an kar are all about the juicy gossip an wwe aint heard anythin tantalizing in a wwhile

anywway i could tell you a bunch a stories a shit me or kar done on an impulse cause kars a fuckin hothead an me wwell despite howw together an rational i obvviously come across like i gotta confess i done a feww stupid an impulsivve things in my life

wwell i wwont bore you wwith the lame ones like ovverreactin an killin my friends ON ACCIDENT sorta but wwell leavve that alone cause im ovver it noww an hopefully they all are too cause wwho needs holdin a grudge ovver a simple misunderstandin right

i guess the last big crazy thing i done wwas a feww years back wwhen me an kar been goin steady for a wwhile in the red quad an i wwere still livvin in england

id been thinkin about proposin to him for ages but i couldnt get up the guts for it so one day i just wwent out an bought a ring an then booked a flight wwithout tellin kar an showwed up at his hivve door

wwell

kinda at his door cause the cab drivver couldnt find kars street so i had him drop me off outside a dunkin donuts in his towwn an then i called him an it wwere like

CG: HEY, DOUCHEPRINCE. WHY WEREN’T YOU ON TROLLIAN THIS MORNING? I WAS GETTING WORRIED.

CA: oh yeah wwell i had to go do somethin

CG: OH? WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

CA: nothin really

CA: by the wway can you pick me up from outside dunkin donuts

CG: WHAT THE FUUUCK???

he wwere kind a pissed but he came an got me anywway

i wwere planning on proposin to him at a park or at least at the mall or somethin but i couldnt wwait so i basically just did it in the kitchen as soon as wwe got back to his hivve after his hivvemates wwere done bein pissed at me too for just showwin up

aint that the most romantic shit you evver read I THINK SO

so yeah thats my story about doin somethin bravve an stupid an it wworked out pretty wwell unlike some a my prevvious spontaneous decisions

so noww you gotta spill about yours its only fuckin fair

guess wwho picked the theme for the pizza tracker wwhile wwe wwas wwaitin for dinner
big fuckin hint it wwerent me

guess wwho picked the theme for the pizza tracker wwhile wwe wwas wwaitin for dinner

big fuckin hint it wwerent me

faalst-sokink asked: You have one sexy OC. I like her bikini.

PFFF. THANKS. SEXY ISN’T USUALLY HER FORTE AND THE BIKINI IS A PRETTY FAR DEPARTURE FROM HER NORMAL ATTIRE. BUT IT’S BASED ON THE KILT SHE WEARS. 

Anonymous asked: So we've heard what Eridan would do if something were to happen to Karkat, but Karkat, what would you do if Eridan died prematurely?

YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING MORBID. WHAT WOULD ANYONE DO IF THEIR MATESPRIT DIED PREMATURELY??

I WOULD TIE HIS CORPSE TO A GIANT REPLICA OF HIS OWN BULGE, SET IT ON FIRE AND PUSH IT OUT TO SEA. NATURALLY.

LOOK. I WOULD BE DESTROYED, ALRIGHT? IT WOULD SUCK HARDER THAN A FUCKING BLACK HOLE. I’M KIND OF FUCKING ATTACHED TO THIS DOUCHEBAG AND LOSING HIM WOULD FEEL LIKE HAVING A PARTICULARLY OBNOXIOUS LIMB SEVERED ARDUOUSLY FROM MY BODY WITH A PLASTIC KNIFE. 

I WOULD MISS HIS DUMB FACE AND ALL THE RANTING WE DO AND THE WAY HE MAKES ME LAUGH AND MELT AND FEEL SAFE. I MEAN YEAH, HE’S A FEROCIOUS HIGHBLOOD BUT HE’S A FUCKING FEROCIOUS HIGHBLOOD. NOT THAT I NEED PROTECTION WHEN I HAVE A PAIR OF WICKED SICKLE ARMS. BUT STILL. PERKS.

GODDAMN IT, PEOPLE. I LOVE HIM, ALRIGHT?? HE’S MY GUY. THIS WORLD FUCKING SUCKS BUT HE’S WHAT MAKES IT BEARABLE, BELIEVE IT OR NOT. 

SO SERIOUSLY, WHAT KIND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT?

carcinoaquarium:

A CREW OF TWO.

WE’RE FEELING PIRATE-Y AGAIN. SO HERE’S THIS OLD THING. 

carcinoaquarium:

A CREW OF TWO.

WE’RE FEELING PIRATE-Y AGAIN. SO HERE’S THIS OLD THING. 

serenityneko asked: Eridan princess bride is not a romcom oh my god

im not havvin this argument i dont got time for this semantical hogwwash

ok fine wwere havvin this argument

"The Princess Bride is a 1987 American romantic comedy fantasy adventure film directed and co-produced by Rob Reiner.

"A delightfully postmodern fairy tale, The Princess Bride is a deft, intelligent mix of swashbuckling, romance, and comedy."

The Princess Bride is possibly the most quotable romantic comedy of all.”

i guess that first one actually makes it a romcomfantadvventure film but thats fuckin splittin hairs on a levvel the large hadron collider wwould be proud of accomplishin

lets break it dowwn

is it a romance story YES

is it supposed to be funny YES

has kar been tryin unsuccesfully to get me to wwatch it for swweeps YES

its a fuckin romcom get ovver it

oh an by the wway i asked kar an he says its a debate thats raged for decades due to it not fittin the mould a most modern day romcoms blah blah blah an he ranted an railed about it for like ten fuckin minutes BUT

he said it is a romcom in the absolute most basic terms so SUCK IT

For the “lovely” cornbus couple…

i dont knoww if i ought bein grateful for the fanart or righteously upset that youd think id evven engage kar in an argument about wwhos got the better taste in quality entertainment

in case anyones too dense to understand the implication a wwhat im sayin here im the one wwith better taste it is me

suck it up kar

  • Notes: 26

Anonymous asked: Do you two enjoy cuddling and watching Karkat's romcoms?

carcinoaquarium:

is this a fuckin joke

wwhy the bloody hell wwould i wwanna wwatch any a kars insipid nauseatin an quite frankly asinine romcoms

tbh romantic comedy is kind of a misnomer wwhen it comes to the ridiculous bilgewwater tripe kar likes to wwatch

there aint NOTHIN romantic about those predictably tired an hashed out plots a coincidence an quirkiness an senseless quadrant flippin that happen EVVERY FUCKIN TIME and they CERTAINLY aint anythin evven remotely close to funny unless you got a sense a humour on a par wwith a sopored up wwiggler so i guess MAYBE i can see howw someone wwith a sewwerblood disposition and half a think pan might get a giggle out of that nonsensical claptrap

ok maybe im bein a little harsh here but you gotta understand my predicament

to coin one example out a the multitude a shit i havve to deal wwith on the regular ill havve you knoww kars been tryin a get me to wwatch the princess bride wwith him for like six years noww an i AINT lettin him wwin its a matter a fuckin pride an principle

our movvie feuds go wway back i guess evver since wwe fell out ovver him havvin a bravveheart poster up on his respite block wwall wwhen i first started stayin ovver at his hivve

he thinks i wwere jealous a the half naked human guy on the poster WWHICH IS EMPIRICALLY UNTRUE i just thought it wwere a shitty poster i mean its super cheesy wwhy wwould you wwant that shit up there wwhen you could havve treasure maps and an awwesome god wweapon mounted on your wwall instead

anywways im strayin from the point i guess wwhere im goin wwith this is im nevver EVVER gonna wwatch the fuckin princess bride no matter wwhat happens my wword is my fuckin bond an wwhen kar finally wwears me dowwn an makes me see it wwith him ill tell you guys howw it wwas i mean ivve heard its good

WHILE HE’S BUSY THROWING MY TASTE IN CINEMA UNDER THE CORNBUS IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE ME LOOK ETERNALLY CHEESY AND LACKING IN HIGHBROW REFINEMENT, WHAT AMPORA *FAILS* TO MENTION IS HIS FANATICAL LOVE OF MUSICALS. BECAUSE THEY AREN’T TACKY, CORNY, OR CLICHED AT ALL.

I MEAN THE GUY SPENT THE BETTER PART OF SATURDAY SINGING SONGS FROM CATS. FUCKING *CATS*. HE KNOWS ALL THE WORDS.

YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE, MAGICAL MISTER MISTOFFELEES.

Anonymous asked: Do you two enjoy cuddling and watching Karkat's romcoms?

is this a fuckin joke

wwhy the bloody hell wwould i wwanna wwatch any a kars insipid nauseatin an quite frankly asinine romcoms

tbh romantic comedy is kind of a misnomer wwhen it comes to the ridiculous bilgewwater tripe kar likes to wwatch

there aint NOTHIN romantic about those predictably tired an hashed out plots a coincidence an quirkiness an senseless quadrant flippin that happen EVVERY FUCKIN TIME and they CERTAINLY aint anythin evven remotely close to funny unless you got a sense a humour on a par wwith a sopored up wwiggler so i guess MAYBE i can see howw someone wwith a sewwerblood disposition and half a think pan might get a giggle out of that nonsensical claptrap

ok maybe im bein a little harsh here but you gotta understand my predicament

to coin one example out a the multitude a shit i havve to deal wwith on the regular ill havve you knoww kars been tryin a get me to wwatch the princess bride wwith him for like six years noww an i AINT lettin him wwin its a matter a fuckin pride an principle

our movvie feuds go wway back i guess evver since wwe fell out ovver him havvin a bravveheart poster up on his respite block wwall wwhen i first started stayin ovver at his hivve

he thinks i wwere jealous a the half naked human guy on the poster WWHICH IS EMPIRICALLY UNTRUE i just thought it wwere a shitty poster i mean its super cheesy wwhy wwould you wwant that shit up there wwhen you could havve treasure maps and an awwesome god wweapon mounted on your wwall instead

anywways im strayin from the point i guess wwhere im goin wwith this is im nevver EVVER gonna wwatch the fuckin princess bride no matter wwhat happens my wword is my fuckin bond an wwhen kar finally wwears me dowwn an makes me see it wwith him ill tell you guys howw it wwas i mean ivve heard its good